Swatch Villainy

So Quantum of Solace hasn't been getting the kind of love its predecessor received upon its release. Most of the reviews, to my knowledge, have that "good, not great" kind of vibe running through them--something typical to movies that are so hyped and have such a bona-fide pedigree that even if they suck, people just can't bring themselves to hate them.

IMO...the opening scene (but not the intro sequence) was pretty sweet...the indoor rope-swinging in Italy and the overhead shot through the skylight...not to mention Bond's legit shawl-collar cardigan when he visits Mathis, or the topcoat at the end (I'd mention the Tom Ford suits but folks are probably sick of hearing of them by now). But on the other hand, the story's flow just didn't go as smoothly as the first. And while M. Amalric's crutch-less take on the Bond Villain was kind of cool...a balanced sense of outlandishness has always been an integral part of the best ones.

Whatever the movie's misgivings, I thought this merchandise tie-in was particularly interesting. The venerated Swiss watchmaker, Swatch, has released a series of collectible 007 watches; not particularly surprising in itself, since Bond's timepieces have always been objects of envy. Here's the twist: each of these pieces are inspired by one of the key villains from each of the films; some are cartoonish (Baron Samedi's has a super-deformed looking skull on the face), others are a little out of place (I honestly could not figure out what part of Jaws' piece had to do with the character. Other than they both had shiny metal parts).

So, here are a few of the notable examples:

Here's one of the more expensive--and more subtle--examples. As a character, Emilio "No. 2" Largo is definitely part of the classical villains' canon, and his piece does its job of speaking to that while adding a little pizzazz. (see: the SPECTRE logo on one of the dials, the black/white variation referencing his eyepatch and largely b&w wardrobe)








...but if it's Sprezzatura you're going for, you might just be better off with the piece representing The Living Daylights, the first of the two oft-maligned T. Dalton entries. Note: despite what the packaging says, the watch is, in fact, inspired by the film's other bad guy, Joe Don Baker's West Point dropout and militaristic maniac, Brad Whitaker. The character is American, but his lapels sport this very Soviet-esque insignia...which forms the basis of this watch's design.




Now, a word about the chief rep of the series' East Asian nemeses...apart from its admittedly cartoonish moments, Die Another Day did have a lot of fun with the rarely-represented North Korea motif.

Does Zao's piece do him and Col. Moon/Gustav Graves justice? (sidebar: Toby Stephens' smirk throughout this film--heck, anytime he smirks--is the definition of smarmy) Well, for one, I liked where they're going with the thin metal design. However, the "scars" on the bands could've been more jagged, more haggard-looking. But what really stopped me from splurging on this one was the numbers--what is up with the takeout-box mock-Asian typface?? That sh~t belongs on my kung-pow chicken, not collectible semi-expensive watches.

Overall, while the execution wasn't perfect, this was still one of the most satisfying examples of licensed merchandising I've come across in a long time. You've gotta admit, Bond villains don't get enough credit for their coolness...they may have all failed to rule the world, but at least now they can be forever immortalized in plastic and stainless steel for fans like you and I.